The Secret to Happiness
Work hard and expect others to work hard for what we want out of life. When things are handed to us on a plate we deny our own humanity, the very complexity we have evolved to be.
HAPPINESS IS EARNED, NOT GIVEN
Authentic Strengths: 1) curiosity, 2) love of learning, 3) objective reality orientation for good of self & others, 4) finding unconventional solutions and always being biased toward the element of surprise in everything that you do, 5) socially skilled action with expert knowledge / resilience, 6) people seek your wisdom because you have big picture perspective, 7) facing danger, despite fear, 8) perseveres without obsessive pursuit of the unattainable, 9) sincere congruence between beliefs and actions, 10) altruistic, 11) you have a lifelong best friend who loves you and who you love too, 12) you pull your weight in team work, 13) you put aside personal prejudice and you care for others' welfare as much as your own, 14) you make things happen, mediate conflict, forgive and acknowledge responsibility, 15) you self-soothe - you don't self-indulge, 16) you are cautious, measured & prudent, 17) you don't seek the spotlight, you don't think you (or what you do) is special, 18) you appreciate excellence & beauty in life, 19) you are graceful for the good and the bad as it all makes you a stronger person, 20) you always have a goal in order to sustain cheer in the now, 21) you have an articulate philosophy / life stance that gives your life meaning, 22) your guiding principle is mercy, not revenge, 23) you are playful and funny, 24) you approach each day energized
YOU DO ALL OF THIS TO FORWARD KNOWLEDGE, POWER, AND GOODNESS
My Philosophy
Find something to persist at, and when that fails, try something else until what you think you've been looking for becomes clear.
My Definition of Love
To love is to sincerely encourage the pursuit of happiness in oneself and in a platonic, romantic, familial or communal context with others without biasing this encouragement in favor of one brand of happiness over another, except against those pursuits which cause harm onto oneself or others.
My Definition of Harm Reduction
To reduce harm is to promote love and eliminate hate without using violence or coercion.
Hate: pluralist pursuit of negativity which causes harm to the self ./ others
Harm: physical or mental damage
Violence: physical, verbal, psychological, and / or institutional force used to injure or take advantage of someone; harm imposed.
Coercion: compelling / manipulating a person to behave in an involuntary way (actively / passively) by threats, intimidation, trickery or some other pressure / violence
Labriola
Long term relationships require: excellent communication skills; mutual safety; good mutual mental health; skilled negotiation; ongoing affection, sensuality & sexual connection; realistic expectations of mature relationships; mutual differentiation; compatible on: values / goals, beliefs, expectations on: money, sex, intimacy, autonomy, lifestyle, extended family, politics, spiritual beliefs, and activities. You must be emotionally healthy yourself, able to exist without other people, happily, forever. The goal in relationships is to create the right balance between [privacy, self-sufficiency, & autonomy] AND [closeness, intimacy, & vulnerability]
Dean Spade
Treat people you date like friends & treat friends like people you date, i.e. treat everyone the same. Harm reducers encourage & accept diversity in personal discovery and / or through guidance in response to a direct call for help.
Happiness (non-Seligman) - Main Level
1) Exercise
2) Express creativity
3) Maintain friendships
4) Differentiate (Bowen) as a person
5) Keep and organized home
6) Enjoy work
Happiness (non-Seligman) - Secondary Level
a) balance stress with relaxation
b) have a positive outlook
c) remain true to goals & values
d) match income to outgoings & vice versa
e) do something fun
f) learn something new
g) have a hobby
h) hold onto love
i) focus on positive relationships, eliminate negative ones
j) learn to interact positively in a child's life
k) keep home / living situation organized
l) organize a community party (ex: a block party)
m) join / commit to a meet-up group
n) help someone in need
Quotes
"There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate, lifelong companionship with one's best friend" - David Myers (American Paradox)
"The force of non-violence is infinitely more wonderful and subtle than the material forces of nature. Those who discovered the law of love were greater scientists than any of our modern scientists" - Ghandi (Young India)
"A human being should be a polymath. Specialization is for insects" - Robert Heinlein
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