l0st bl0gg3r

Life

2011-09-14T06:15:00.000-07:00

Life is bullshit sometimes and I just want to make it through this without any more hurt, either to those around me, or to me as a recipient. That's not a very straightforward thing to do, and there are lots of complicated variables to transcend to maintain that basic status quo, but I'm trying. Every day, I'm trying. It would be nice to feel positive and carefree about life, both for myself, and those around me, but I'm not holding my breath. Reality is what reality is. You deal with the crap, and hope or the best. Those moments that are beautiful are sometimes worth all the struggle. Never give up.

Dear Google,

2011-07-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

What, is up, with the "Email Intervention" marketing you are trying to get your users to be complicit with?

I like your products. I like the new privacy controls. But recruiting your users to aggressively market against people who are quite happy not using your services? That's wrong and invasive. You're asking gmail users (whenever they sign out, and now, with a reminder message IN MY MAIL BOX) to pressure their friends who are not on gmail to sign up.

There is something deeply, deeply wrong about this. As a company you shouldn't feel entitled to the affection or attention from people who (to this point) have been just fine without you. If you just carry on making excellent products, then that's enough, people will naturally be drawn to you off their own free will.

But don't try to involve me in an aggressive marketing campaign to my friends. They are my friends EXACTLY BECAUSE I DON'T TRY TO SPAM THEM OR INTERFERE WITH THEIR LIFE. The only time an "intervention" is acceptable is when someone is causing harm to themselves or others. Not having a gmail account is not being harmful to anyone. By mounting this insidious campaign, you are violating people's rights to autonomy and freedom of choice, and worse, trying to subtly gain free marketing labor by getting your users to do your dirty work for you.

Not cool. Google. Not cool.

Remember your first rule was "Don't be Evil"? Start with that and go from there.

Yours sincerely,

A google products user.

The problem with the "job" paradigm

2011-01-31T10:23:00.000-08:00

I hate job titles, ads, and their descriptions. In a world where people are polymaths who pick up various unique experiences and skills throughout their extraordinary lives, the traditional hope that you can match a person to a pre-defined job description seems ridiculous to me. It's also a really poor strategy for sustaining the employment of your workforce. Why should people be forced to tailor / restrict their amazing abilities and what they have to offer to the narrow confines of a job ad? Even if they get the job, will that person really be happy, and thus give you the full benefit of what they can do, if they are only expected to meet the narrow confines of what you want someone in that position to do? Wake up! This is why unemployment is so high... this is why, even when folks get employed, turnover rates are still an issue. It's impossible to match complex individuals to generic job descriptions and expect that to be a sustainable solution for your business.

I think, especially for new organizations and businesses starting up, you need not worry about exactly who you want to hire. Stick to your organization's missions and by-laws that you worked hard to create in the first place (bonus points if you did so under sustainable B-Corporation criteria). Then put out an open call to the populace to anyone interested in furthering that mission. If people are attracted to your mission, they're more likely to open up about all the ways they can possibly help you to further it. You can then pick and choose those individuals that seem to have unique, and often surprising, skill sets that can meet your goals, in a sustainable fashion, moving forward. No need for applicants to censor or twist themselves to meet a narrow job description, and no need for you to imagine a theoretical perfect applicant.

Deal with the reality of what you want versus the reality of what talent is out there. Many job ads ask for individuals to be "creative" as part of their application skill set - it's about time employers got "creative" with how they find, empower, and capitalize on the real skill sets that actually exist.

It's about time we evolved the "job" paradigm to something much more refined. Sustainable careers are the things that people want and are what will drive businesses to limitless success.

Let's make that happen. Today.

My favorite parts of Barack Obama's SOTU Speech 2011

2011-01-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

I really liked the SOTU speech. I've been seeking guidance about what to do with my life next and his words reminded me that I already knew the answers. That's a great leader, someone who reminds you that you already have the power to help yourself.

Here are the selected paragraphs from the speech that I felt provided the most clear direction of opportunities for the unemployed to move forward in 2011 and beyond :

"We need to out-innovate, out-educate, and out-build the rest of the world.

We'll invest in biomedical research, information technology, and especially clean energy technology.

We're telling America's scientists and engineers that if they assemble teams of the best minds in their fields, and focus on the hardest problems in clean energy, we'll fund the Apollo Projects of our time.

To every young person listening tonight who's contemplating their career choice: If you want to make a difference in the life of our nation; if you want to make a difference in the life of a child - become a teacher. Your country needs you.

Let's stop expelling talented, responsible young people who can staff our research labs, start new businesses, and further enrich this nation.

To attract new businesses to our shores, we need the fastest, most reliable ways to move people, goods, and information - from high-speed rail to high-speed internet.

America is the nation that built the transcontinental railroad, brought electricity to rural communities, and constructed the interstate highway system. The jobs created by these projects didn't just come from laying down tracks or pavement. They came from businesses that opened near a town's new train station or the new off-ramp.

We will put more Americans to work repairing crumbling roads and bridges. We will make sure this is fully paid for, attract private investment, and pick projects based on what's best for the economy, not politicians.

To help businesses sell more products abroad, we set a goal of doubling our exports by 2014 - because the more we export, the more jobs we create at home.

We do big things.

I might not have a lot of money, but I have this great idea for a new company. I might not come from a family of college graduates, but I will be the first to get my degree. I might not know those people in trouble, but I think I can help them, and I need to try. I'm not sure how we'll reach that better place beyond the horizon, but I know we'll get there. I know we will.

We do big things."

Having your existence witnessed is everyone's right

2011-01-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

Why is success and fame such a primal drive? Well, as Melanie Moore, Executive Director of Badgerdog Literary Publishing said to a crowd of donors last year,

"To have your existence witnessed is a basic human need and the opportunity to share that in an artful way is EVERYONE's right"

So... are you going to just exist? Bending passively with the paths of least resistance... paths, the majority of which, are dictated by external forces - most of whom have zero interest in your existence other than for their own purposes?

NO.

Stand up for yourself.

Use your creativity to present your best self to the world.

And don't just mimic the icons from before. It's no longer good enough to stand on the shoulders of giants: be a better giant!

There are a few rules to live by, though, if you are going to do this both without delusions, and in the most ethical way possible.

Rule #1 : No one is going to rescue you.

Stop thinking "if only so-and-so gave me a chance... or if only so-and-so would hire me... or if only so-and-so would give me a ton of money" - if your entire career progression depends on this kind of logic, it is bound to fail.

Rule #2 : Success is never stopping the hustle

So you took your first tentative step. And you failed. Then you started second guessing your career choices and talked yourself into thinking it's pointless. At this point you do one of two things that will change your life

a) you resign and continue to feel sorry for yourself - at best it will take you months to recover, and at worst you might do something really, really stupid you'll live to regret, or the people who care about you will regret

- or -

b) you admit failure, but you don't resign - if the first path was a failure, you push yourself to find another path. if the career choice itself is a dead end, pick another career choice. there really is no right path or destiny at play here - there's only that eternal search for the right mix of opportunity meeting preparation. you have little control over the opportunities, but you do have control over the search for them, and when you find an opportunity, it's all on you to prepare and execute for it. just remember you might fail again, and factor that in that you'll need to set aside reserve energy for the next attempt.

the point is YOU NEVER STOP.... just keep going. to stop is to die. stopping is not even failure. failure is an opportunity to try again. stopping is no opportunity, it's just inaction and depression - avoid this at all costs.

avoiding stopping is a learned skill that requires practice from repeated failure. if you're a person who wins all the time, it's going to suck for you when you do fail because you'll be out of practice. the real winners in life have failed OVER and OVER again.

so, don't worry if it's not easy to move to the next exploration - so long as you at least orient yourself in a direction AWAY from inaction, your life experience, subconscious, and built in inertia from doing so, will head you on a productive path.

the more you fail, the more you'll learn what to avoid in the future and how to streamline this process - it'll get better each time.

the only enemy is inaction and the desire to give up. FIGHT THIS WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT. Just vowing to do so is good enough.

RULE #3 : The secret to deciding the right path to take? Simple. When presented with a choice, ask yourself, which one of these can I see myself sustaining? If you can't look past the initial decision to choose a path, if you can't see yourself doing this for many years, and especially, if you can't picture EXACTLY what it would require to maintain this choice for the chunk of your life it would take to make it a successful decision for you, don't do it.

Never go into a decision blindly on the basis of hope. Look at your choice and be realistic with yourself - can you devise a plan to sustain that life decision? Will you committ to it? Do you have the energy to do everything you really need to do that?

If you can't sustain a decision, don't move forward with it. And don't trick yourself into believing that you're morally responsible to do it under the pretense that the alternative might lie with a person less capable than you. If you can't sustain the project, that's the end of your role in the matter. The universe has, and will, continue to exist as it always has - all systems that are capable of being sustained, will do so... those that won't will be replaced by those that will. If someone less capable takes a project you were thinking of doing, but refused because you knew you couldn't sustain it yourself, the project will naturally fail and either someone else more capable will be found, or the project creators will need to figure a way to make it more sustainable for future applicants in the job market. Or they might decide it was a bad idea to begin with and try another tact.

If you can't see yourself sustaining a project, even if you win it, don't bother. Find something that you can sustain instead ... it may take some time, and you might have to finagle your survival in the meanwhile, but the experience will be worth your time, and the time of others, in the finish.

RULE #4 : NEVER ask someone to work for free.

If you manage to find a sustainable path to take your career - don't fuck it up by relying on free labor. That's a sure fire path to making your decision completely UNsustainable. Sure, you might find a few suckers to help you, and you might ride a brief wave of initial success... but that will quickly burn out as not paying someone, yet expecting them to work their ass off, creates a huge imbalance of knock-on forces that are beyond your control. I don't have to talk about the infinite fractals of iterant negative causality that can happen when you make one concession that multiplies with every subsequent interaction. I can leave you with a simple quote from Marian Anderson

"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there with them, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might"

Look - there are no short cuts. Part of your envisioning whether something is going to be a sustainable decision on your part, is whether you have the ability, or the means, to create sustainable capital, and to hire the most suited applicants by paying them what they're worth.

if you can't do that, don't bother. it's a decision point that will iterate to every other logistical decision you make.

Rule #5 : Be that better giant!!

So you've found a path you think you can sustain and you're doing so ethically. Well, even the most ardent preparation and forethought can't prepare you for every eventuality. Once you at least have a solid foundation to embark on, you constantly need to think of ways you can outdo both yourself, and those who've done this before. It's a feedback loop that ties in with the 4 prior rules, but, with the added element of creativity you bring to the table with each cycle. In a world where everyone wants to succeed, where the tools to do so are becoming more and more pervasive, and the rewards for doing so become more and more great, being a better giant is the only way you can prevent yourself from being irrelevant - and being irrelevant is a path that circles dangerously near the point of the resignation death I mentioned earlier. But, hey, if you fail, like I also said earlier, try something else - it's that persistence and ability to never give up that will bring its own rewards... perhaps more so than even the final reward you always pictured.

Just remember these 5 rules and live by them... I promise you'll have your existence witnessed this way, and that's something we all deserve and have every right to strive for.

Anti DV Jobs Nov 15th 2010

2010-11-15T11:15:00.000-08:00

Here are today's jobs:

1. SafeHouse Counselor/Advocate (Stamford)

requires some experience working with crime survivors

Salary range: $34,000-$38,000 with benefits

2. Policy Coordinator (Washington DC)

requires a degree, admin work experience, and demonstrated "commitment to expanding economic opportunities for low-income individuals and families" and "understanding of policies and programs related to domestic violence, poverty, workforce development, work supports and their impact on women and girls"

Salary range: Competitive with benefits package including health care benefits and a pension plan. No relocation support.

3. Special Project Coordinator (Washington DC)

similar requirements and salary to 2. but with more of an emphasis on a background in tech support and education

4. Assistant Director (University of Minnesota, Twin Cities)

requires a Masters degree; 5 years experience / academic knowledge in anti-DV / anti-VAW work / issues / theories; experience with university relations and successful grant writing

Compensation: $46,000-$48,000 DOQ

calling it in

2010-06-07T18:02:00.000-07:00

i'm in austin now. been here a few weeks. so far it's been fun. i've had one dodgy incident where someone kicked in my new apartment door and stole.... wait for it .... a shower curtain. but i can more or less attest that i've been pretty lucky and enjoying myself here in austin.

until today.

after a long day working on the computer i head down s. congress to see if i could get my hair cut in preparation for my 30th birthday party next week. no dice ... despite the possibility that birds barber shop takes walkins - everything was booked up because phoning up guarantees you a slot over and aboard just turning up. they gave me $3 off my next cut though, if i decide to go back.

so i'm walking back down congress toward dominican joe's when this pick up truck swerves to the curb right where i'm walking. at first i'm thinking maybe they need to find something or some other emergency. nope. the driver is a frightened and distressed looking woman and the asshole in the passenger seat is an abusive white male. he starts shouting at her and raises both his fists to hit her. she flinches, he doesn't hit her, but keeps shouting at her within the confines of that small pickup cab booth they're in. she pulls away from the curb and drives out into traffic.

all i'm thinking is it can't be safe to drive with that asshole screaming and intimidating her. driving is dangerous as it is even when you're focusing on what you're doing. this asshole guy in the passenger seat is endangering them both and the public in general. so i hurry to remember the license plate number. and call the police.

they alerted all the squad cars in the area. i hope they stop this guy before he does any more harm. i walk into domincan joe's and grab a drink. there are two male police officers here, just chilling. obviously a domestic violence call to all cars isn't worth not finishing their latte's.

but they take their time, then leave. i'm trying not to think about it anymore. i hope i did the right thing. i hope that woman is ok.

we all have to do our part to stop violence against women.

what are you going to do, today?

Notes on Happiness and Relationships

2010-04-10T00:48:00.000-07:00

Some wisdom I've collected along the way:

The Secret to Happiness

Work hard and expect others to work hard for what we want out of life. When things are handed to us on a plate we deny our own humanity, the very complexity we have evolved to be.

HAPPINESS IS EARNED, NOT GIVEN

Authentic Strengths: 1) curiosity, 2) love of learning, 3) objective reality orientation for good of self & others, 4) finding unconventional solutions and always being biased toward the element of surprise in everything that you do, 5) socially skilled action with expert knowledge / resilience, 6) people seek your wisdom because you have big picture perspective, 7) facing danger, despite fear, 8) perseveres without obsessive pursuit of the unattainable, 9) sincere congruence between beliefs and actions, 10) altruistic, 11) you have a lifelong best friend who loves you and who you love too, 12) you pull your weight in team work, 13) you put aside personal prejudice and you care for others' welfare as much as your own, 14) you make things happen, mediate conflict, forgive and acknowledge responsibility, 15) you self-soothe - you don't self-indulge, 16) you are cautious, measured & prudent, 17) you don't seek the spotlight, you don't think you (or what you do) is special, 18) you appreciate excellence & beauty in life, 19) you are graceful for the good and the bad as it all makes you a stronger person, 20) you always have a goal in order to sustain cheer in the now, 21) you have an articulate philosophy / life stance that gives your life meaning, 22) your guiding principle is mercy, not revenge, 23) you are playful and funny, 24) you approach each day energized

YOU DO ALL OF THIS TO FORWARD KNOWLEDGE, POWER, AND GOODNESS

My Philosophy

Find something to persist at, and when that fails, try something else until what you think you've been looking for becomes clear.

My Definition of Love

To love is to sincerely encourage the pursuit of happiness in oneself and in a platonic, romantic, familial or communal context with others without biasing this encouragement in favor of one brand of happiness over another, except against those pursuits which cause harm onto oneself or others.

My Definition of Harm Reduction

To reduce harm is to promote love and eliminate hate without using violence or coercion.

Hate: pluralist pursuit of negativity which causes harm to the self ./ others
Harm: physical or mental damage
Violence: physical, verbal, psychological, and / or institutional force used to injure or take advantage of someone; harm imposed.
Coercion: compelling / manipulating a person to behave in an involuntary way (actively / passively) by threats, intimidation, trickery or some other pressure / violence

Labriola

Long term relationships require: excellent communication skills; mutual safety; good mutual mental health; skilled negotiation; ongoing affection, sensuality & sexual connection; realistic expectations of mature relationships; mutual differentiation; compatible on: values / goals, beliefs, expectations on: money, sex, intimacy, autonomy, lifestyle, extended family, politics, spiritual beliefs, and activities. You must be emotionally healthy yourself, able to exist without other people, happily, forever. The goal in relationships is to create the right balance between [privacy, self-sufficiency, & autonomy] AND [closeness, intimacy, & vulnerability]

Dean Spade

Treat people you date like friends & treat friends like people you date, i.e. treat everyone the same. Harm reducers encourage & accept diversity in personal discovery and / or through guidance in response to a direct call for help.

Happiness (non-Seligman) - Main Level

1) Exercise
2) Express creativity
3) Maintain friendships
4) Differentiate (Bowen) as a person
5) Keep and organized home
6) Enjoy work

Happiness (non-Seligman) - Secondary Level

a) balance stress with relaxation
b) have a positive outlook
c) remain true to goals & values
d) match income to outgoings & vice versa
e) do something fun
f) learn something new
g) have a hobby
h) hold onto love
i) focus on positive relationships, eliminate negative ones
j) learn to interact positively in a child's life
k) keep home / living situation organized
l) organize a community party (ex: a block party)
m) join / commit to a meet-up group
n) help someone in need

Quotes

"There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate, lifelong companionship with one's best friend" - David Myers (American Paradox)

"The force of non-violence is infinitely more wonderful and subtle than the material forces of nature. Those who discovered the law of love were greater scientists than any of our modern scientists" - Ghandi (Young India)

"A human being should be a polymath. Specialization is for insects" - Robert Heinlein

Standing up to Hate Groups on Facebook

2010-02-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

Wow. So this was a particularly frustrating week in the cause to stop violence against women. A facebook group called "reasons to punch women in the face", created by Lekan Adebanjo at Nottingham Trent university sprang up and gained over 30,000 followers.

There are 30,000 people in cyberspace who think that violence against women is a joke.

I spent much of the past few days lobbying my friends and twitter contacts to help report this group to facebook's attention, and eventually (today) it seems the group has been shut down.

No sooner had this happened than a quick search on facebook for "punch women" revealed that new groups promoting violence against women are popping up all the time.

I think the crucial victory in the Adebanjo case is that people stood up against him through a variety of social media campaigns and the university itself took pains to email everyone who complained saying that they do not condone what Adebanjo did.

If we are to continue the mission to stop violence against women we need your help stopping these people before they get out of control. It's group-think insanity movements like Adebanjo's that brought Hitler to power. In this day and age, if you are ethically minded and have a good heart, you can stop hatred from spreading by simply lending your voice to protests through social media and writing to those who have the power to do something.

Thank you, all of you, the every day heroes who stand up against hatred and persist in the face of violent stupidity. You are the inspiration that makes me believe we can stop violence against women.

The Clothesline Project - Brooklyn, NY

2010-02-11T08:47:00.001-08:00

(from craigslist)

HELP....domestic violence outreach
Date: 2010-02-09, 8:55PM EST
Reply to: yashikafuture@gmail.com

Please donate clean t shirt to my domestic violence group.... we are planning to do a domestic violence clothesline.

What is the Clothesline Project?
The Clothesline is a visual display that bears witness to the violence against women. During the public display, a clothesline is hung with shirts. Each shirt is decorated to represent a particular woman's experience, by the survivor herself or by someone who cares about her.

What goes on the Clothesline?
We ask women to send shirts of durable material preferably with the following color code:

o WHITE for women who have died of violence:
o YELLOW or BEIGE for women who have been battered or assaulted;
o RED, PINK or ORANGE for women who have been raped or sexually assaulted;
o BLUE or GREEN for women survivors of incest or child sexual abuse;
o PURPLE or LAVENDER for women attacked because of their sexual orientation;

. Kingsborough Community College. ACE Program
my aim is YWJAMMIN1987, contact me GMAIL YASHIKAFUTURE.......... YAHOO YASHIKACAREER........ AOL.....HOTHEAD2187

blaming the economy is an excuse, not the reason

2010-02-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

A rash of recent ultra violent domestic murder / suicide cases is being reported in the Boston Globe today where the reporter seems to be implying that the economy is the reason people are dying because it "inflamed some men’s abusive tendencies".

Bullshit. We're all suffering in this economy. But not all men are going out and killing and murdering their wives and children and torching their pets and belongings. How is it that most men are able to keep their families and lives together in a positive and persevering way, and a few idiots are reacting quite differently?

It's because the men who do such heinous acts are ABUSIVE, not because the economy MADE them do it. I salute the men out there that are focusing on how to keep their family loved and supported doing these hard times, and who won't EVER find an excuse in circumstances to abuse / harm their loved ones. And the truth is: that's the majority.

The one thing that is disturbing about the article, to me, is that "vast numbers of women are remaining in abusive relationships out of fear they could not support themselves and their children in the current economic climate."

Isn't that the point of women's shelters? To give women who are experiencing domestic violence a place for them, and their children, to just breathe and take a time out to figure out the next step? I've heard it, time and again, from survivors and people that work in this industry... sometimes all a victim needs is just TWO NIGHTS away from their batterer in a safe place where they can relax, take a shower, eat some food, and just THINK without living in fear and uncertainty about what their partner might do to them. Given some time to think about what to do, without the debilitating presence of the batterer, combined with the massive support network of the anti-domestic violence humanity services sector, women don't need to be told by a reporter at the Boston Globe, that "the economy is making them stay in abusive relationships". On the contrary, women have plenty of choices and it's the job of the advocates in this field to keep putting that message out there to women: Even if it seems like your life is hell right now, you have choices.

It's also the job of our communities to protect our women. How? By trying your best not to be so insular in your neighborhood. Yes, I know it's cold outside, but popping over to your neighbor's house to see how they're doing, inviting them to dinner at your place, or even baking them cake... fuck, we used to live in societies where people felt part of a community, and when people are part of a community there's less chance for domestic violence and abusive behavior to go by unnoticed. I can't tell you how many survivors have said "why didn't my neighbors do or say anything?".

If we're going to get through hard economic times and prevent domestic violence from reaching the horrific extent it's been happening as painted by the Boston Globe article a few things need to happen:

1) Stop blaming the economy.

2) Hold abusers fully accountable for their actions.

3) We as a community need to have ZERO tolerance for abusive behavior in men - call them out the moment you see the red flags (don't know the red flags? Read Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that?" - they're laid out pretty clearly)

4) Keep the advocacy up and spread awareness that a) abusiveness is never ok, and b) there are plenty of options available for women who feel trapped in an abusive relationship

5) Look after your community. Yes that's your job. Check on your neighbors. Organize neighborhood events. Keep a tab on those families that seem open to your attention and those that withdraw or react in ways that give you a bad feeling in your gut. Trust your instincts. Know how to spot the signs of an abusive relationship by STUDYING for them from books like Lundy's. Don't be a bystander. Call the police whenever you hear an argument. Fuck the societal impropriety of that - it could be someone's life at stake. If you're a neighbor and you can HEAR your neighbor's arguments, that can't be a good sign. Do you want to be the person that wants to find out on the news the next day whether your phone call could've made a difference?

6) Keep educating yourself on violence and anti-violence topics. Get involved in discussions. Stand up for what's right. I could go on and on and you don't need me to remind you of what I know, deep down, you know is the right thing to do.

When a news reporter writes an article about domestic violence and puts the blame of it somewhere OTHER than squarely on the perpetrator, I get very annoyed here, because I feel like they're ignoring what's important: the problem is not the economy or the tendency to "inflame" men's abusiveness... the problem lies squarely with US as a community because we NEED to look out for each other. We need to educate ourselves and our male offspring and potential victims of what is a) healthy male behavior and b) what are the red flags and options for women to escape a dangerous situation. My question is to the reporters: Wouldn't you be willing to write your articles with an emphasis on how the community can help stop violence, rather than simply just blaming the economy, if you knew that could make a difference? I don't see many reporters doing this, and everyone in the anti-domestic violence field knows that greater community involvement, awareness, and healthy attitudes IS the solution here.

Stop blaming the economy.

DV 017

2010-02-02T11:54:00.000-08:00

Bilingual (Spanish) Family Violence Victim Advocate need in Connecticut:
http://newhaven.craigslist.org/npo/1581019690.html

Temporary Events Coordinator Needed for the annual Homeless Prenatal Program Event in the Mission, San Francisco:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/npo/1581632878.html

Development Officer needed in the East Bay, California:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/npo/1581061415.html

Bilingual (Spanish) Case Manager need in Los Angeles:
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/npo/1581500709.html

Bilingual (Japanese) Program Coordinatory needed in Little Tokyo, Los Angeles:
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/npo/1581628581.html

Poetry Slam with Emphasis on male-involvement in the fight to end violence against women in Hawaii:
http://honolulu.craigslist.org/kau/eve/1581452967.html

Crisis Response Advocate needed in Corvallis:
http://eugene.craigslist.org/npo/1581207475.html

Texting 4 Life

2010-01-31T15:21:00.000-08:00

From: http://bit.ly/bR9HTh

"The Pregones Theater in Bronx, NY is featuring an awesome play about dating relationships. Texting 4 Life is a 15 minute play that follows a young couple as they both navigate their relationship through technology. Developed through creative workshops with Bronx middle school students, the play is interactive and allows young audience members help determine the outcome. This allows participants to think critically about dating, the social uses of technology and healthy relationship habits, so pretty much the kind of issues we all deal with in the dating world. Performances are followed by a talk with qualified counselors and peer educators. The Pregones Theater has two performances coming up on February 8th and 19th at 5 p.m., so if you happen to live in the area, be sure to check them out."

2010-01-02T07:32:00.001-08:00

RT @abusesurvivors: Please RT: We are seeking artists to help volunteer for the mural mosaic. http://bit.ly/8mpUig

On the Tube: news station plug or anti-DV poster ?

2009-12-31T07:12:00.001-08:00

Saw this very large ad about statistics on violence against women while at a Tube station in London today. It's impressive to see a huge ad like this at a place where lots of people can see it. I hope there are more of them.

Although the message is clear, the not-so-much-smaller text underneath it is a plug for a local news station. Now, if you're a passerby, are you going to be thinking "oh, an anti-domestic violence poster" or are you going to be thinking "oh, bloody news channels and their depressing statistics".

If the posters were exclusively about raising awareness about violence against women, rather than also being an ad for a news channel, they might have more of an impact.

While I admire corporations that demonstrate some sort of ethical responsibility (think Liz Claiborne) it would be nice to see more advertising specifically from the humanity sector getting the message out there. In my recent post about the DV poster that changes image when you look away from it, there are VERY few of these to be seen anywhere.

What can we do to change this?

~

how am i not myself?

2009-12-31T04:16:00.000-08:00

that's a great quote from i heart huckabees. applied to feminism, maggie clark writes an interesting article that adds an important aspect to answering this question:

http://bit.ly/8rFKRf

The Existential Crisis of Becoming a Bystander

2009-12-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

I was doing my usual google search for blogs advocating against violence against women when I came across this blog entry:

http://bit.ly/72vgWa

As I read this I started playing back all the situations in my life where I've been privy to a possible abuse situation, but, because of the reasons the author mentions, there always seems to be this existential crisis of becoming a bystander. It's a tough gig - most of us like to think or hope we are in control of our lives, that we determine who we are and the actions we take. The social media craze has got everyone being extra careful about protecting our 'brand identity' so we can appear in the way we most want to, to interact with the rest of the world.

But when you're a witness to a crime IRL, your carefully constructed identity goes out the window. You have a new label threatening to box you in. Are you going to be the 'bystander' or are you going to be the 'witness' or are you even going to be the 'hero'. These are decisions you have to make in an instant and that process of accepting, or rejecting, the labels that are being forced upon you by the mere fact that you are sharing the same time and space as a crime scene, can be debilitating to most of us.

If you've been following my blog then I already know you have the disposition to do the right thing. Just as Jasper Schuring helped foil a potential terrorist threat, do your part to help foil the very terrorism that might be happening next door. When a man starts raising his voice at a woman, throws her things, threatens the neighbors.... these are all acts of domestic violence and intimidation. The more people band together against these jerks, the more people call the police straight away, the more people REACT WITH THEIR GUT, the more help we can give to women and the more we can send a clear message to abusers VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

Like I said, if you follow me on twitter (@l0stbl0gg3r) or have been reading my blog, then you already know what to do, just go with it and don't second guess yourself. A split decision could save someone's life.

~

raising anti-DV awareness going into 2010

2009-12-26T12:01:00.000-08:00

With Charlie Sheen in the news for battering his wife on Christmas Day I'm wondering why there aren't more high-tech anti-domestic violence ads about like the one above to really get the message out there in a way that isn't trivial or over-sensational. They say augmented reality is going to be one of the top trends in 2010 - maybe posters like the above can add impact to the anti-domestic violence campaign, both online and IRL.

DV 016

2009-12-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

Victim Advocate (Baltimore, MD)

Bilingual Outreach Crisis Counselor (Raleigh, NC)

Receptionist (Down Town Albuq)

Boycott the Twilight Series

2009-12-23T03:13:00.001-08:00

I am beginning to see a careful, and well argued, opposition to the Twilight series throughout the blogosphere. The general conclusion seems to be that the subtext of the series supports and conditions for the acceptance of misogyny from men by women. On more than one, disturbing, occasion the series seems to overtly support domestic violence against women. An example of a very well researched, and written, blog on the topic can be found here:

http://kenincanada.livejournal.com/619.html

Given the popularity of the Twilight series, its books and films, I would urge parents and feminists to boycott supporting the franchise as it has the potential to indoctrinate a whole new generation of victims who are tolerant, instead of intolerant, against potential abusers.

Cameron wants more Women to see Avatar

2009-12-20T14:59:00.000-08:00

David Poland (from the Hot Button Blog) sits down with James Cameron to talk about Avatar post-release.

I have my own views on Avatar, but the reason I wanted to mention this interview is that toward the end of it Cameron makes an appeal for more women to come and watch his film, based primarily on the surprise he's received from women who went in not expecting to like it and who came out really loving it. Poland chimes in by saying it's also actually the perfect film for the teenage girl demographic because the female leading character, Neytiri (played by an Oscar worthy Zoë Saldaña), is probably the kind of character a lot of girls would like to be.

Click to watch David Poland interviewing James Cameron about Avatar.

~

Re: Tiger Woods: Cheating is Domestic Violence

2009-12-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

Kay Rutherford writes an excellent article on infidelity called Infidelity: Not a Pretty Picture. What I like particularly about her article is that she quotes Lundy Bancroft in saying that "chronic infidelity is abuse".

Elin Nordegren is a victim of chronic abuse by Tiger Woods. Tiger is a victim of nothing but the abuse he put his family through by being an adulterer.

I'm siding with the Swedish feminists on this one: I'm against male supremacists or anyone soliciting sympathy for Tiger for what he has done.

DV 015

2009-12-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

Client Services Program Manager (Baltimore, MD)

Bilingual (Spanish) Legal Advocate/Paralegal - NWIRP (Pioneer Square, Seattle)

Economic Empowerment Coordinator (New Jersey)

Counseling Coordinator (Philadelphia, PA)

Game Changer

2009-12-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

http://bit.ly/5KRv0f

DV 014

2009-12-14T16:43:00.000-08:00

Policy Specialist (san rafael)

Case Manager (hollywood)

Program Coordinator (boston)

Resources for Men to Stop Violence Against Women

2009-12-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

social media mashup

2009-12-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

your mission, should you choose to accept it:

mix social filmmaking, social art therapy, social activism + social volunteering

+ make ::: social change ::: fun.

Dancing Doctors Goes Viral

2009-12-03T14:45:00.001-08:00

trends i'm noticing in data visualization

2009-12-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

Following my recent signup with Pearltrees as a new way of viewing my online activity, I've been stumbling around other movements in this trend and came across the Pivot project:

I see this as the way the internet will evolve as we find new ways to navigate it.

Free body guard service?

2009-12-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

Has anyone heard of Ordo Dei Imperceptus? Apparently they're an organization that will provide a free bodyguard service to victims of domestic violence providing the victim has proof of a restraining order. Never heard of them before. Apparently they're looking for volunteers who want to be bodyguards also.

Comment if you have any thoughts on this, or know of their record.

DV 013

2009-11-30T16:07:00.000-08:00

Live in Arlington? Get involved in Homeless Prevention and Rapid Re-housing for Women.

Technorati code

2009-11-25T07:08:00.000-08:00

R2YFQST3HVAA

Earn $30K+ in Vermont

2009-11-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

Do you come from a diverse community or background? Live in Vermont? Then apply for the $32K position as a Domestic and Sexual Violence Legal Advocate in Chelsea.

Social media - transparency vs abuse

2009-11-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

It seems to me that the trend in social media for transparency leaves little recourse for victims of abuse who want to enjoy the benefits of social media, yet be protected from abusers who could track them down through it. Do victims of abuse have to re-invent their online lives- creating new anonymous social media personas, and asking their existing friends to do the same -in order to keep networking with some modicum of safety? How is current social media technology institutionally biased toward potential abuse, for instance, by companies such as Facebook which insist people have to sign up with their real names? It's bad enough that some victims have to be literally self-imprisoned in domestic violence shelters in the real world without having their online freedoms compromised also. What's the solution?

Interestingly enough these issues are being researched in Sweden at the DVIS project which you can check out here:

http://dvis.humlab.umu.se/

My concern is that I hope this research leads to pragmatic recommendations for victims of domestic violence soon, rather than later. The transparency movement in social media may, in the interim, continue to alienate victims to technology, networks, and resources that could be helping them.

Uncovering purported misandry as misogyny.

2009-11-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

Click the podcast link to hear Lundy Bancroft talk about the current dangers of male supremacists and how both genders can help women against this threat.

There's also a wake-up call article by Kathryn Joyce on how "Men's Rights" Groups Have Become Frighteningly Effective. Check it out.

DV 012

2009-11-21T15:32:00.000-08:00

Social worker with law experience, North Carolina

DV 011

2009-11-19T17:31:00.000-08:00

Night Counselor (NYC)

Domestic Violence Advocate (Portland Oregon)

On-Call Crisis Line Specialist (Oregon)

DV 010

2009-11-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

Volunteer in Wilmington.

Childcare Worker (Encinitas)

Elder Domestic Violence Counselor (Lynn)

poll on customized social networks

2009-11-18T15:01:00.000-08:00

slight technical change

2009-11-18T14:27:00.000-08:00

you may or may not have noticed that the Surphace widgets at the end of my posts may or may not provide links to additional related content... i emailed Surphace support about this and they've provided me with some new code that i can add to my posts to make the suggestion system more relevant - not all my posts have this new code... just added it to anything from DV 007 onwards.

- l0st -

DV 009

2009-11-17T16:35:00.000-08:00

Now's your chance to take the first step toward becoming a private investigator.

If you've got operations experience and DV qualifications why not apply to be Manager of Housing Services (San Mateo).

Evening shift open for a Shelter Advocate (South Orange County)

DV 008

2009-11-16T20:17:00.000-08:00

Part-time Residential Relief Program Advocate (Boston - South End)

Part-time SafeLink Relief Advocate (Boston - South End)

DV Response Advocate (Portland)

Overnight DV Advocate (Waukegan, IL)

Bilingual (South Asian) Child Facilitator - Part time (Beaverton)

Domestic Abuse Program Director (Waltham)

Latest Rihanna Music Video

2009-11-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Exclusive: New Rihanna Music Video

DV 007

2009-11-13T15:20:00.000-08:00

Healthnet Military position, DC

DV program advocate in Norwalk (NY)

Volunteers to work with children in West Mass

2009-11-12T16:06:00.001-08:00

streamlining my microblog postings with ping.fm

DV 006

2009-11-12T15:45:00.000-08:00

Extensive DV experience + Masters degree? Try for the Community Services Coordinator position in Newton.

DV 005

2009-11-11T12:17:00.001-08:00

Volunteer opp in Cambridge, Mass.

Paid opp in Cambridge, Mass for On-call Resident Supporter

Case Manager, Glendale, position open for someone bilingual
(spanish / english) who has 40 hours DV training

Children's Counselor, West San Fernando Valley

Awesome opportunity open for anyone looking to become a DV Program Director, Portland.

Great opp for anyone interested in DV victim advocacy, esp if you have a military background.

.. and same company is offering another position for someone who is a licensed social worker with experience worker with DV cases:

P/T Sexual Assault Response Coordinator, Fallon.

Opening for an experienced Executive Director, Flemington (NJ):

DV 004

2009-11-09T15:19:00.000-08:00

Volunteer gig for teens in Boston.

Live in New York? Speak Chinese?

or just live in New York?

L0st Bl0gg3r Podcast Episode 2

2009-11-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

In today's podcast I allude to the recent changes you see around the blog, including at widgets at the end of each post which help readers to share my content or be taking to similar pages they may like based off that content.

Also - put up new lijit and linkedin widgets plus a book shelf to let people know what I'm reading.

Social media is fun, but slightly time consuming when you're experimenting with the possibilities. Hopefully this practice can help me optimize my use of all the services by consolidating to those which prove the most useful.

DV Jobs 003

2009-11-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

Volunteer in Reno.

or

Get on the Board in New York.

DV Jobs 002

2009-11-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

Today's findings:

Something else to do when you're tired of chilling out on the beach in Hawaii.

L0st Bl0gg3r Podcast Ep 1

2009-11-07T15:32:00.000-08:00

Today's pod cast forays into my experience so far with Deltina Hay's "A Survival Guide to Social Media and Web 2.0 Optimization" book, and mentions what I'm experimenting with this blog about promoting jobs on craigslist for those who want to fight domestic violence.

testing

2009-11-06T18:15:00.000-08:00

testing linking the blog with an mp3 for future podcasting...

Rihanna on ABC

2009-11-06T16:40:00.001-08:00

Watch the video Rihanna on ABC.

Inspired by Rihanna?

2009-11-06T16:09:00.000-08:00

Get involved, stop abuse against women:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/npo/1454735911.html
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/npo/1454566491.html
http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/npo/1454564632.html
http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/npo/1454365670.html
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/npo/1454343624.html
http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/hea/1454076266.html